Caring For Tom ❤: : (

People say I'm brave....people say I'm strong...people say I'm smart...people say I have endless patience... people say I can do anything...some say I'm super woman and some say I'm a saint...

I'm not any of these. I am just "me"... and I am a caregiver and God gets me through each day..

Tom is my husband... was my best friend, lover, partner in everything, my soul mate, the other half of WE & US

He is still with me in body and he loves me... but he is no longer the Tom he was but someone else...ever changing...

I am Mom... We are no longer WE and I am now I...

Sometimes he listens to me.. sometimes he has a malfunctioning mind of his own... with a broken reason button.

Most times he is sweet and loving... even helpful with limits...(limited to offering to help) uses the thank you word after would you please wait on me hand and foot because someone super glued me to this spot and I can't get up.

He seems totally clueless that I do everything...everything we use to share when we were WE and US.

When he does a big chore like plow snow or mow grass or cut wood........ He rides the 4-wheeler....riding lawn mower......and a chain saw. I snow blow and shovel.... push mow and weed whack and load, haul and pile the wood.

He says "that's good for you because you need the exercise" LOL

Yep.... that's about all he does except trapping which consists of driving around in the van as a family or on the 4-wheeler by himself looking for beaver dams......... sometimes he calls a logger or two and ask if they have seen any..... beaver dams that is.

He will take the girls for a run now and than... he rides the 4-wheeler. When I think about it ...it's amazing his feet and legs work... yep I just checked to make sure... he can walk...... that's a good thing.

Before Tom got this disease...he was a ball of energy...hard working...early riser.... let's get going...there is always something to do...We were such a we that we did EVERYTHING together including cooking, housework and the like... We were like a pair of shoes...where one went the other one followed.

He watched out for me...kept me safe...I was strong where he was weak...He was strong where I was weak... Oh what a perfectly matched pair we were... never argued or fought... we so enjoyed many adventures together... we had fun and laughed no matter what we were doing... at work and at play.

We shared the same dreams, we joked about when we were old and gray we would be sitting in our rocking chairs on the front porch of our log shack rocking grand-babies... and trying to remember the old nursery rhymes.

We shined as a couple on the outside...people would comment as they could see the love and respect we had for each other...it was as obvious as night and day.

This disease took all this away from us... stole my best friend, the other half of me, stole our dreams, our golden years, our future, our lives...

I now will be spending the rest of our lives together, caring for him..... a stranger in my husbands body as this disease slowly takes him away...bit by bit...till all that is left is an empty shell and than finally there will be peace.....

and one day we will dance again... together...in heaven... forever...forever we will be together ...and we will dance again!

Caring For Tom ❤

Friday, March 26, 2010

: (

No comments:

Post a Comment