Easter Week-end

Easter Weekend was better than I dared to hope for...... I EXPECTED nothing therefore feel BLESSED ...........

Tom who is unstable and totally unpredictable was BETTER than I dared to hope for......... I got to spend some time with my Mom..... with my three granddaughters I haven't seen for a really long time....... and of coarse there mother : ) ...... my son.... and my oldest daughter, her husband and 6 month old baby Oliver......

It was a short time BUT it was CHERISHED time...time most people take for granted.... like time is theirs... to waste or use the way they want...... nobody..... even I did not realize "time" is a gift.   and I was blessed with that gift this Easter week end.

I see more and more how God had my life planned out...... I'm glad I listened...... When we were looking for land to build on....... this was the LAST area we were interested in.  Circumstances brought us to this land....... near my sister and her husband........ the reason I am able to "spend time" my family at all.

Tom gave it a shot on Saturday.... he worked all week on himself to give me this.... Than Sunday would be all ours....... Our Anniversary.  My gift to him was to not ask for any more time than Saturday......

You must understand how much Tom LOVES all these people and they love him and miss him also....... This disease touches "everyone" in a personal way.

All I asked for was to spend time with my new grandson....he is now 6 months old.  His Mom and Dad came up mostly for that reason....It's a 5 hour drive......

Tom loved the baby.... they didn't arrive till 2 pm..... and were not spending the night with us as we all know that would be way beyond Tom's capability to handle that.

Basically Tom's brain mis -translated what was being said and everyone left.  It was a plan we had in place so no hurt feelings and total understanding that it's the disease.....

That is why I am writing this.  NOT to discredit Tom or for sympathy but to educate those fortunate not to be touched by this disease and or may face it in the future.
Hopefully I can bring insight into what it is really like for us.

Yes "US" ........ Us is Tom.. Me... and anyone that loves us and wants to share their lives with us..... Alzheimer's  steals it away from all of us. 

My 8 year old granddaughter asked... "Where is Grampa?"..... " He's at home honey".... "Is he okay by himself? "...... "For a little while"...... "Is he in a bad mood?".....  "Sometimes"..... "When he gets in a good mood and feeling better can I come spend the night?.... I really miss you Grammma."

Thanks to Tom's sister and husband... we had a wonderful Easter dinner... the two of us and our girls (dogs)......  later Tom was feeling really good and told me to go for an hour or two to go see my family who were all gathered at my sisters.......

To me...Tom gave the greatest gift.... he gets really scared when I'm not there.... even when he is having a good day/moment ..... it's worse when he isn't.  Than he even needs to know where I am in our small house......

I think the fear comes from the fact that he depends on me to be the part of him he is losing.... the more he loses... the more he needs me and the fear of something happening to me is terrifying to him.....he always says he would be doomed if something happened to me...... that must be a pretty scary feeling.